BUILDING SELF ESTEEM

What is Self Esteem ?

Self esteem is the opinion you have of yourself. It is based on your attitude to the following:

• Your value as a person
  The job you do
  Your achievements
  How you think others see you
  Your purpose in life
  Your place in the world
  Your potential for success
  Your strengths and weaknesses
  Your social status and how you relate to others
  Your independence or ability to stand on your own feet

More or less, this sums it up but you may be able to add a few other important factors we have not included here.

What is Low Self Esteem?

Low self esteem results from you having a poor self image caused by your attitude to one or more of the above. Example: you do not value the job you do highly or you feel you have no purpose in your life.

What is High Self Esteem?

High self esteem is the opposite! It is a very important aspect of your life. If you have a high level you will be confident, happy and sure of yourself. You would be highly motivated and have the right attitude to succeed.

Self esteem is therefore crucial to you and is a cornerstone of a positive attitude towards living.
ROBERT WAGNER once said "the most important thing for a person starting out on the road to success is SELF ESTEEM"

So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may wish to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?

Dart Pin #1: Negative Work Environment Beware of dog eat dog theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. How often people appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, complainers, exploders, all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for a while, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Dart Pin #4: Past Experience It’s okay to cry and say ouch! when we experience pain. But don t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

Dart Pin #5: Negative World View Look at what you re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it does not mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you all never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God would not come down from heaven and tell you son, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve yourself.

In life, it’s hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means self change. The kind of change which comes from within. voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. It’s like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.


Excerpts from couple of articles and a book

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